tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68840479320730094062011-11-10T22:12:38.235-06:00My journey through life...struggling with the loss of two of my triplets while celebrating the life of their surviving sister...my miracle. My little angels.Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.comBlogger1211100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-20419997663400685762011-11-10T18:41:00.000-06:002011-11-10T18:41:02.259-06:00

I have met so many other babylost mothers either through this blog, facebook or just support groups in general. Most of the mothers I have met place some kind of symbolism on their child in the form of animals. Whether it be butterflies, dragonflies, doves or even bluejays. Now that I put it in writing I can see the consensus is mostly things that obviously fly. I am the type of person that

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-16430242504745678712011-10-24T21:42:00.000-05:002011-10-24T21:42:40.848-05:00

First of all, has it really been a month since I last blogged? Wow. I have to say, being a full-time stay at home mom and a full-time college student is really kicking my be-hind. Seems like I'm always behind or forgetting something lately. So I guess I will kinda sum up our month of October. Betsy started back to Mother's Day Out. Her teacher from last year had actually moved up so in her new

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-43478737879982151522011-09-17T16:49:00.000-05:002011-09-17T16:49:38.300-05:00

On Thursday I took Betsy in for her 3-year-old well-child check up. I absolutely love her pediatrician. She really takes extra special care of my girl and I like that she goes above and beyond for us. Betsy is growing perfectly and is actually close to catching up in her weight for a "normal" three-year-old. She is almost in the 50th percentile for weight but for her BMI she is in the 20th

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-73019351644302330462011-09-03T22:12:00.004-05:002011-09-03T23:09:42.355-05:00

I heard a song today on the radio, one of many that I absolutely love and it just tugged at my heartstrings so I decided to add it to my list. I have a list compiled in my head and heart that remind me of Grace and Olivia. The list grows nearly every week, as there are always new songs coming out that I can somehow relate to them. I wanted to share my list with you but really, there are so many

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-67055872189256484832011-08-29T21:37:00.006-05:002011-09-01T16:06:01.224-05:00

It seems so crazy to say I have a 3-year-old now. She is such a big girl!! It's like even when she was 2 she still seemed like a baby to me. But now that she is 3, she just seems so much more grown up. Awe. It's so bittersweet. It makes me wish I could preserve every single second I have with her and never, ever forget any little thing she says or does. I can't believe how fast the past three

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-51626620429919864312011-08-22T19:53:00.007-05:002011-08-22T21:00:18.438-05:00

Well even though we are going on 50+ days of triple digit heat, my summer has officially ended. Today I started my fall semester back at UCO. I am glad to be back in the swing of things but we have totally gotten off our routine and I have not been able to get Betsy back into a schedule. She has been sleeping in (sometimes almost 10am!) and we have been skipping naps. She will still go to bed

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-17981472441798191002011-08-01T19:15:00.003-05:002011-08-01T19:45:16.622-05:00

Ah yes, it is upon us once again. Its my favorite and my least favorite month all rolled into one. It's August. Betsy will be turning 3 this month, which is amazing all in itself. This month is the same month that "everything happened". On August 13th it will mark the anniversary of when we got the news about Grace and I was admitted to labor and delivery on complete hospital bedrest. Three years

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-37935693049778379522011-07-24T22:22:00.005-05:002011-07-24T22:44:19.669-05:00

This weekend we went to my grandparent's to celebrate my grandma's 90th birthday. We call my grandparents Ma and Pa. They are two of the most important people in my life. I cannot believe my Ma is 90 years old, it seems like she should still be 70. I am so fortunate and so very blessed to still have my grandparents at their age. They both are in fairly good health and still have their spunk and

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-6146947457188016692011-07-21T18:56:00.003-05:002011-07-21T19:29:45.225-05:00

This summer I am taking a Psychology of Grief class for my funeral service major. This has been such an interesting class and I am really learning alot about grief and coping. The last chapter I read was about coping as an adult. One section was about the death of a child. After I read the chapter I just felt heavy hearted again. In adults, the most significant impact is the death of a child;

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-28410772342677022292011-07-10T22:15:00.003-05:002011-07-10T22:39:53.779-05:00

Today Tony and I took Betsy to the mall to play in the play area so she could run off some steam. It was too hot to even go swim today so we had to do something! On a whim we decided to get Betsy's ears pierced. We have thought about it for a while now but have always been hesitant mainly because we didn't want her to have to hurt for a long time. We talked about it with her and asked her if she

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-3408446021712744862011-07-08T21:31:00.010-05:002011-07-08T22:15:25.249-05:00

I can't believe it is already July! I can probably fit everything here in about 2-3 different blogs but instead I guess I'll just write one big long one, of course full of pictures. I just don't feel like seperating everything. This summer has been going by so fast! We have been keeping ourselves pretty busy. Since we have had Betsy in dance class and in swimming lessons we have kinda been

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-6391747739714079162011-07-06T16:15:00.002-05:002011-07-06T16:21:28.537-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-32627907976435611342011-06-18T09:17:00.010-05:002011-06-18T10:17:54.757-05:00

No, I haven't abandoned my blog! So far our summer has been pretty hectic and the few nights I sat down to blog something was wrong with my photo uploader. And I can't have a blog without some pictures! I guess we technically aren't into summer yet but it's the summer months and it's been HOTTTTTT. We had a few changes lately. I am enrolled in school (finally!!) and so with my school schedule we

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-14125289653300358432011-06-01T21:42:00.001-05:002011-06-01T21:45:23.119-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-32453365373422931092011-05-30T21:04:00.004-05:002011-05-30T21:51:16.966-05:00

I have always been a person who holds grudges. I know it's really bad and I try to let things roll off my shoulders but it's tough for me. I am a pretty sensitive person and sometimes, well most of the time, takes everything personally. I always have believed if someone burns you once they will burn you again. I believe that the best predictor for future behavior is past behavior and if you are

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-75211775851053434632011-05-25T21:59:00.001-05:002011-05-25T22:02:55.127-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-63651121810397649322011-05-14T21:00:00.006-05:002011-05-14T21:26:00.614-05:00

Friday night we went to the Redhawks baseball game. We were really excited because the weather was only supposed to be about 68 degrees and usually when we go to baseball games it is sooo HOT! It was the perfect night for a baseball game! It wasn't long before the wind picked up a little and it started getting pretty chilly. We decided to move down into some empty seats closer to the field so we

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-25665462472330332622011-05-13T22:17:00.003-05:002011-05-13T22:46:25.907-05:00

I had a wonderful day today. Tony was off all day and we got to spend the entire day together and then took Betsy to the Redhawks baseball game this evening. We had fun. Came home, put Betsy to bed and now we are watching the Thunder game on TV. I am literally sitting here trying to blog about something totally different when Tony flips the channel to the news. They are featuring this story about

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-31564069622459241822011-05-11T19:27:00.000-05:002011-05-13T15:51:30.917-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-82746273067231995752011-05-09T21:21:00.008-05:002011-05-09T22:14:31.709-05:00

If you remember a few months ago I posted here about our 2011 March of Dimes March for Babies. We are, of course, Team Betsy. I can't tell you how much I LOVE doing this. Not only do we raise lots of money for March of Dimes but it is a day that is really all about Betsy and celebrating how much of a miracle she truly is and also a chance to honor Grace and Olivia. I love seeing the turnout we

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-82976686979252297522011-05-06T13:29:00.003-05:002011-05-06T13:34:30.520-05:00

Because the last time I did this is was so much fun...Betsy at her very first Thunder game. Little did we know how much she would grow to LOOOVE the OKC Thunder. She's just a few days shy of 18 months in this picture. Look at those cheeks! Seriously, she is totally smoochable 24/7.

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-54958193111494054732011-05-04T13:43:00.008-05:002011-05-04T14:44:00.542-05:00

Well I know Easter was technically 2 weeks ago, and I know today is supposed to be a Wordless Wednesday post, BUT, I am just now getting a chance to plop on my booty and upload all my pics and take a moment to blog. So, I have to catch up on my Easter weekend!We took Betsy to see the Easter Bunny, which she is always super excited to do. Here she is telling him all about how good she has been.

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-30540981815626545322011-04-22T21:41:00.002-05:002011-04-22T22:02:19.274-05:00

Well it's Easter weekend, which always reminds me of my journey to parenthood and everything we went through. It was Easter 3 years ago that I had my IVF transfer and we joked that my fertility doctor "hid" eggs inside me. Little did we know how those three little Easter blessings would change and alter our lives forever. I still remember every tiny detail about everything we went through and

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-67661439463377149692011-04-20T09:36:00.002-05:002011-04-20T09:38:02.580-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-20106466167762987732011-04-19T13:53:00.002-05:002011-04-19T14:12:06.664-05:00

I know I am late posting this blog but I still wanted to share because the picture is just too cute not to! Last Thursday Betsy had Land Run Day at her Mother's Day Out. They made flags, ran and staked their land. Then they had a hot dog buffet, which Betsy loved as she loooooves her some hot dogs! She was to dress up as a cowgirl and since it's like 80 degrees outside I was having a hard time

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-34953808772822699722011-04-06T14:14:00.002-05:002011-04-06T14:18:23.251-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-14028744163578491692011-04-03T21:43:00.004-05:002011-04-03T22:08:42.896-05:00

The other day while I was getting a pedicure, the nail lady starts talking about how she and her boyfriend have been trying for over 3 years to get pregnant. She overshared a little information with me I'm sure but I did tell her a little about my journey. I'm not shy at all about my infertility and if someone out there has a similiar situation I like to offer support. She asked, for a lack of

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-67690990879709568062011-03-30T14:09:00.001-05:002011-03-30T14:14:22.136-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-21833717163355927392011-03-28T14:20:00.003-05:002011-03-28T14:32:33.377-05:00

Tony and I have been dreading the day we would have to take Betsy's passy away. But I have to say, WHEW! That was easy breezy. Betsy was never really a passy baby. She took it on occasion to sleep when she was an infant but mostly she went to sleep without it. When she was younger and we broke her from the bottle, which was amazingly too easy as well, I just gave her the passy and she never cared

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-4980810182585839422011-03-27T21:37:00.007-05:002011-03-27T22:08:15.001-05:00

Yesterday we took Betsy to her very first Circus! It's the Shrine Circus that comes every year and I always had a good time when I was younger. We talked about the circus for days before we went and talked about all the things we were going to see. When the day finally came she was really excited. She really liked the clowns. I was impressed since I saw lots of little kids who were frightened of

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-33380986379994949262011-03-25T22:03:00.003-05:002011-03-25T22:06:46.657-05:00

Hello Baldness!! Do you remember when my baby had no hair!?! I always said I never wanted a bald baby...that I hoped my little girls would have tons of hair for me to play with. Haha! Nope. I LOOOOOOVE Betsy's bald head, I think it's so cute. This was taken last year. She is about 17 months in this picture. It makes me laugh....bald and beautiful!

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-72058120859789273552011-03-23T13:35:00.003-05:002011-03-23T13:38:27.778-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-11193295187442504962011-03-22T14:41:00.005-05:002011-03-22T15:01:33.520-05:00

I thought I would take today to blog about a member of our family you haven't met yet. Her name is June and she is our 6-year-old Boston Terrier. I love her so much. Tony can't stand her and neither can anyone else in the family for that matter. She has Down Syndrome (well, not really but she acts like it)She gets mad when we leave her and sometimes pees on our stuff to show us how mad she is.

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-31086307389001989702011-03-18T20:54:00.002-05:002011-03-18T21:12:06.425-05:00

Not only is this one of my favorite songs of all time, it's a great title for my blog. I was having a conversation with my bestie the other day and she was telling me about how none of her friends talk to her very much since she got married. She said she kinda feels out of the loop of things and rarely sees some of her old good friends. That got me thinking...I wonder why that is the case? I

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-89749171479518142492011-03-16T22:14:00.002-05:002011-03-16T22:20:46.505-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-43866010513476320122011-03-15T21:29:00.008-05:002011-03-15T22:08:24.461-05:00

As Betsy says..."Bouncy Bouncy". Today we went to Bouncin' Craze for a couple hours after nap. It's just a giant play area with different inflatables. We weren't for sure if Betsy would be old enough to play and enjoy but after hearing from many different people that she would be A-OK we decided to go for it! She had so much fun! At first she was a little hesitant because all the inflatables were

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-24411322244047846412011-03-09T20:44:00.001-06:002011-03-09T20:49:11.202-06:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-6326370172415101082011-03-09T13:52:00.002-06:002011-03-09T14:27:17.628-06:00

After waiting 2-1/2 months for something that should have taken 2 weeks, I finally got my letter I had been waiting for. It said "Welcome Back". Yep. I'm finally getting to go back to school!! I am super excited for this. Since, oh, about 16 years ago my dream has been to be a funeral director. I talked about it all through high school, toured the Forensics Building at the college and spoke with

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-32989337217555452982011-02-19T21:19:00.004-06:002011-02-19T21:54:08.909-06:00

It seems impossible that Betsy will be 3 this summer. She's not a "baby" any more and while I LOVE watching her grow, it's so sad at the same time. I sure love her being my little girl! I thought I would update everyone on Betsy and what all she is doing. Betsy weighs 25 pounds and is 35 inches tall. She is in the 90th percentile for her heighth and only in the 10th percentile for her weight. She

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-15749382579203685342011-02-15T11:07:00.002-06:002011-02-15T11:43:36.177-06:00

I have to admit that there are times when people talk about their answered prayers and I just kinda roll my eyes and think "whatever". I hear stories about how someone was literally clinging to life so everyone gathered around and started praying and their loved one was magically healed...just thanks to the power of prayer. It often bothers me when I hear survival stories, for instance the 9/11

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-32624544645402494442011-02-10T14:54:00.002-06:002011-02-10T15:24:28.770-06:00

This year will be the third year we will participate in the March of Dimes March for Babies. Our team name is Team Betsy and we always have so much fun doing this. March for Babies is my absolute passion and I look forward to it every year. We have lots of friends and family that come out and show their support for Team Betsy and walk with us. We raise alot of money for March of Dimes to educate

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-24764652474776314122011-02-09T19:12:00.002-06:002011-02-09T19:22:09.151-06:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-1130473616864563902011-02-05T15:27:00.002-06:002011-02-05T15:51:01.652-06:00

Over a recent road trip with my mom to see family we got to talking about Grace and Olivia and also my cousin, Lance. We talked about how we can't believe its going to be three years since the girls died and coming up on 4 months since Lance died. We spoke about how we found out Lance died and shared our memories of me being pregnant and of the girls being born. It seems like we use any excuse to

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-43501026351629504892011-01-19T14:52:00.004-06:002011-01-19T15:26:02.936-06:00

I know this is typically when I post my Wordless Wednesday and usually it is just that..wordless, with a picture I really love this week or a picture that has a special meaning. I love posting my pics of Grace and Olivia and this week I put their footprints up. I'm sure in previous Wordless Wednesday posts you may have seen these exact images. The reason for that is, of course, I don't have many

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-11941721778574863342011-01-12T17:01:00.001-06:002011-01-12T17:03:03.283-06:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-68293302055119311712011-01-03T13:50:00.003-06:002011-01-03T14:31:53.687-06:00

So it's officially the first week of a new year. I'm not one to ever make New Year's Resolutions because, well, everyone knows those are so cliche and no one really ever sticks to them. I do however, have dreams for this year. Some I won't share right now as I would like to keep them private but I will share my personal dream and dreams I have for our family and Betsy. My ultimate dream this year

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-13406458559665668362011-01-01T22:50:00.004-06:002011-01-01T22:57:25.435-06:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-77404376335050455102010-12-30T14:12:00.005-06:002010-12-30T14:51:50.125-06:00

There are days I find myself daydreaming about when Betsy was born. I remember how extremely tiny and fragile she was and all I could do was hope and pray she would survive. I wouldn't count her life in days and months but in minutes and hours. One more hour. Yes. She made it another hour. And so on and so on. After Olivia died I quit counting the days, at this point she was 37 days, and I

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-35330546069704219812010-12-27T20:17:00.003-06:002010-12-27T20:54:38.094-06:00

Christmas is over and although we really enjoyed the craziness of it all, I'm glad it's over. Tony took a week long vacation the week of Christmas and it was so nice to have him here with us, even though we were so busy we didn't get to spend any time just sitting around and relaxing. We got lots of Christmas shopping done, spent time with my sister, niece and nephew who are visiting from

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-28103708627372393602010-12-11T14:27:00.002-06:002010-12-11T14:47:59.283-06:00

I recently blogged about Betsy's Christmas Program at her little school and how much we all enjoyed that as a family. What I failed to mention is that we chose to attend Betsy's Christmas Program as opposed to something else that is important to Tony and myself. Since the girls passed away Tony and I have belonged to a parent support group from the hospital they were born at. Our support group is

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-9145428022827155522010-12-09T22:06:00.003-06:002010-12-09T22:25:03.431-06:00

I totally understand the words now to that song. Where they sing, "It's the most wonderful time of the year. It's the hap-happiest season of all." Whoever sings that song MUST have children. And those children MUST have had Christmas Programs. I just can't imagine what the words mean if not. Tonight Betsy had her very first Christmas Program courtesy of her Mother's Day Out program. I just

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-44106059135556710572010-12-09T21:05:00.007-06:002010-12-09T22:01:30.527-06:00

Well I'm a little disappointed in myself for not keeping up more often on my blog. I always try to do better then things get in the way. Plus our computer is basically a piece of crap so sometimes I just avoid it all together. So here is what has happened with us lately. We had a great Thanksgiving. We always travel to my grandparents and it's wonderful to spend time with family. There is about

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-66922243210719474962010-11-18T14:24:00.002-06:002010-11-18T15:25:52.583-06:00

Sometimes I wake up from a dream and it will be a dream so good that I will try to make myself fall back asleep just to keep dreaming. It makes me wonder where exactly my thoughts come from. I have always believed that dreams are just insight into your unconscious thoughts. Doesn't explain the nightmares or bad dreams that I sometimes have, although it's been quite a while since I've experienced

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-64983390622896229842010-11-16T14:07:00.002-06:002010-11-16T14:24:43.810-06:00

Last week I submitted my name, picture and story to be on a website called Faces of Loss. I had only found this website a few months ago through another babylost mom and had really wanted to submit my story. It's basically a place where other babylost mommies can go to share their story and to meet others who have faced the same grief. It's showing your face to let everyone know you have suffered

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-83123937784194421022010-11-15T07:22:00.002-06:002010-11-15T07:40:16.847-06:00

Dear Girls, I just want you to know I have really been missing you lately. I hope it doesn't seem as though I have forgotten you. I know it seems like it sometimes with our lives being so busy around this house, but please know you both are ALWAYS on my mind. It's been a while since I really just sat down and looked through your pictures. I used to do it all the time. Please know I don't have to

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-54883155090643104662010-11-11T11:17:00.005-06:002010-11-11T12:21:06.888-06:00

Alright, so first let me say that without a doubt I think that Tony and I are awesome parents. I like to think we are fun and cool and really go above and beyond for our daughter. I know that she is spoiled and because she will be our only child, who cares!? I think there is a fine line between being spoiled and being well-loved and I think our daughter is unconditionally well-loved with a little

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-11956564075095205192010-11-10T14:48:00.003-06:002010-11-10T14:50:05.668-06:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-84858673927706988962010-11-04T14:27:00.004-05:002010-11-04T14:59:39.859-05:00

Today Betsy started a Mother's Day Out program. I had been debating for a long time on whether to put her in one or not. They ended up being more expensive than what I originally thought, but not near as bad as it could have been. I have the tendency to be a little over-protective...I prefer the term "hands-on" mommy. I really don't want Betsy to be away from me and I have a hard time just

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-8427339030526734762010-11-01T07:48:00.005-05:002010-11-01T08:01:49.115-05:00

Just for fun I wanted to post pictures of Betsy every year thus far for Halloween. 1st Halloween, 2 months old (still in NICU), Snow White: 2nd Halloween, 14 months old, Kitty Cat: 3rd Halloween, 2 years old, Foofa: I can't believe how much she has changed and how FAR she has come!

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-32315028154905556182010-11-01T07:31:00.008-05:002010-11-01T08:03:07.395-05:00

We had lots of fun this Halloween. I think as Betsy gets older, everything becomes more fun because she is getting older and able to enjoy more. Here is Betsy painting her very own pumpkin. And here is the finished product. I think she did a really good job!! This year for Halloween she dressed as Foofa from Yo Gabba Gabba. If anyone knows Betsy you know she is obsessed with Yo Gabba Gabba

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-17706670550795939172010-10-19T16:44:00.002-05:002010-10-19T17:09:45.231-05:00

As I sat down today to start my blog, I really don't have anything of interest to say. I have had a few fun activities during the last week that I will blog about at a later time but really I am just still at a loss for words about anything. I am still mourning the loss of my cousin Lance. It's been almost two weeks and every single night as I am trying to fall asleep, I relive the moments when I

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-48304602621483595102010-10-15T07:48:00.002-05:002010-10-15T07:55:24.837-05:00

...The Congress, by Senate Joint Resolution 314, has designated the month of October, as "Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month" and authorized and requested the President to issue a proclamation in observance of this month.NOW, THEREFORE, I RONALD REAGAN, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim the month of October as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. I call

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-73632844299536015502010-10-12T15:12:00.005-05:002010-10-12T15:44:25.791-05:00

I remember growing up listening to my mom talk about her cousin David that was killed in a car accident when they were young. My mom would talk about David and how close they were and how much she misses him so, so many years later. I now know all too well that pain. In the early morning hours of Thursday, October 7, my phone rang. I keep my phone on silent through the night and how I heard it

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-27037029997541495742010-10-06T14:40:00.001-05:002010-10-06T14:43:43.476-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-20230764167649368572010-10-04T07:34:00.003-05:002010-10-04T08:04:37.033-05:00

Today marks the 2-year anniversary of Olivia's death. I remember after we lost the girls I would sometimes ask other babylost mothers, "Does it EVER get easier?". I hurt so bad that I couldn't imagine any less pain than I felt. Some of them told me, yes, it does get easier but you will always feel the hurt. So here it is, a mere two years later, and it still hurts just as bad as the day it

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-69637460358622834102010-10-02T15:04:00.006-05:002010-10-02T15:47:44.997-05:00

We decided to make Betsy a playroom because our 3rd bedroom was being used for my office but we were also storing some toys and other things in there too. Since I am only working part-time I kinda felt like that room was starting to turn into a junk room and I hated having an entire room in our house go to waste. We decided we would rearrange our bedroom to fit a small desk space in there for me

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-71235575742281171092010-10-02T14:21:00.005-05:002010-10-02T15:03:40.000-05:00

Yikes! I have been a horrible blogger here lately. I guess we have been keeping pretty busy around here. It's funny how quickly our free time fills up. After Tony's promotion within Hertz, sometimes he works pretty funky shifts. Which kinda sucks but that means he gets days off during the week which has been nice. Anyway. We haven't been busy in the sense that we are never home but the weather

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-23291872465599238562010-09-21T13:34:00.004-05:002010-09-21T13:47:19.055-05:00

*WARNING!* Bragging mom blog!!For those of you who remember one of my previous blog posts, which you can find here, you will remember how HARD of a time we had getting Betsy to let us take her pictures. It became a game for her I guess because every time we would pull out our phones or camera she would look away. She was smiling, but she REFUSED to look in the camera. Someone told me it was just

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-63384859398061604492010-09-15T13:27:00.001-05:002010-09-15T13:29:40.163-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-5729462220028112652010-09-13T14:01:00.002-05:002010-09-13T14:25:23.419-05:00

I've been thinking alot more lately about Grace and Olivia and what they would be like. It's getting easier for me to do this without just bursting into tears every single time I think of them and try to imagine their sweet little faces. It sucks so bad to have a child and never, ever know what they would have looked like or what they would sound like or what kind of adults they would grow up to

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-51685874179876006232010-09-02T15:07:00.005-05:002010-09-02T16:55:48.693-05:00

Okay, I am a little behind in posting this blog. Last Saturday, Aug 28, Betsy turned 2 years old! It's so cliche to say, "I can't believe it" and "time flies" but it's so very true. There are days it seems like I was JUST at the hospital, still pregnant with triplets, and then there are days where it seems an eternity ago. So Betsy's birthday is tricky for us. We want to go all out for her

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-80444241659677400722010-09-01T14:46:00.001-05:002010-09-01T14:53:07.474-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-28189115708800669432010-08-27T08:19:00.007-05:002010-08-27T08:39:09.169-05:00

Two years ago today my world was turned upside down. This was the day that our angel Grace was born. Today I will give Betsy a million extra kisses because I'm not able to kiss Grace on her special day. Our hearts ache all over again today as we relive the moments of Grace's birth. Please take a moment to remember my family, along with Grace as she would have been two years old today. Call Heaven

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-43144744876300650792010-08-26T14:07:00.007-05:002010-08-26T14:41:46.677-05:00

I really hope that when Betsy gets older she asks, "Why don't you have any pictures of me?" Well-good ones that is. I'm not sure if she is doing this to make mommy mad (surely not, right!?) or if she is just testing the waters and being a pistol. I CANNOT get this girl to take a picture for anything! Now action shots are perfect--she just goes about her business and never has to stop and look at

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-22497878312879685292010-08-25T13:43:00.002-05:002010-08-25T13:48:26.156-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-78850761461811960562010-08-24T20:47:00.003-05:002010-08-24T21:12:21.951-05:00

Today we took Betsy back to Integris Baptist Medical Center NICU to visit some of her nurses. We have been back there only a few times since Betsy was discharged and it's always fun to see the nurses, doctors, respiratory therapists, and receptionists. Today when we went we were lucky there were quite a few nurses on duty so we got to see alot of familiar faces. Our main reason for going was to

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-91445324360225226642010-08-23T17:13:00.002-05:002010-08-23T17:41:51.811-05:00

I have been thinking alot lately about my Christian life and if I was really truly happy with my spiritual life. The answer was no. I remember my best friend in high school, Katie, who passed away a few years ago, caught me totally off guard one day after school. She was my "religious" friend. I loved her because she had such a love for the Lord and I admired that. She asked me point blank, "

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-70521742030402017462010-08-18T16:57:00.002-05:002010-08-18T17:03:00.865-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-49400549473918728152010-08-13T21:14:00.004-05:002010-08-13T22:08:14.358-05:00

Sometimes remembering things is really tough. If people have survived a traumatic event they often chose to forget...supressing the memory way back in their mind and hoping it never comes out again. Some people can't forget things that they really do want to forget and they even go to such lengths as hypnotisism to try to block those memories out. I think about myself and the memories I have. I

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-31243577125966402222010-08-11T09:32:00.001-05:002010-08-11T09:35:36.311-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-32860545992277674202010-08-09T10:09:00.004-05:002010-08-10T12:57:14.677-05:00

So I wouldn't say I am a regretful person. There isn't much in my life, previous to having the girls, that I can honestly say I regret. I dated losers, made bad decisions and really took some crazy paths along my life but not one thing do I regret. When it comes to my babies, and the events that surrounded their births almost two years ago, I am daily plagued by certain regrets that I have. Some

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-76756907736609832842010-08-06T10:12:00.005-05:002010-08-06T11:27:46.217-05:00

Wow! This summer has been so crazy busy here at the Perez household. I can't believe I let so much time go between blogging. Here is an update as to what has been going on. Betsy is fabulous. I'm sure every parent will tell you that it's such a delight and such an amazing thing to watch their child grow up, but for us it's totally a different sense of emotions. I am in constant awe of her. I look

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-32733890241618345332010-07-27T13:30:00.003-05:002010-07-27T13:58:06.930-05:00

One of my favorite songs. I only discovered it after the girls died and I started to really take notice in particular songs and soak in the lyrics and true meanings. I found quite a few that I really liked, ones that seem to speak directly to me and my loss. Upon researching this song, I found out that the artist, Jeremy Camp, had lost his first wife to ovarian cancer. So the words really meant

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-17351857045340396602010-07-15T16:22:00.005-05:002010-07-20T17:34:49.585-05:00

Ever since Betsy came home from the hospital it has been my dream to reach out to other families who have had an NICU baby or most certainly suffered the loss of a baby. I have wanted to share the story of my babies and our struggles and obstacles but most importantly I have wanted to give families hope. I've wanted to be a shoulder for other babylost parents to cry on. I've wanted to be a

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-58213446706201563682010-07-07T16:19:00.003-05:002010-07-07T16:42:22.249-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-77288260262441590822010-07-06T13:37:00.008-05:002010-07-06T14:40:48.167-05:00

I am one of "those" parents. "That" parent who doesn't put their kid in any kind of activities that requires me to drop her off and leave. Now I have heard it's great for socialization and also teaches them to not be too dependant on mommy. I beg to differ. Betsy is a very social little girl. She knows no stranger (which is perfectly safe at this age) and she walks into any room with confidence.

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-57853607761018488432010-07-01T18:44:00.002-05:002010-07-01T19:12:43.116-05:00

It has been 22 months now since my girls were born. There are days when it seems like it was just yesterday and days where it really feels like a long time ago. Even so, the memory is so very vivid in my mind and in my heart. There is not one day that goes by and I don't think about my babies and what could have been. Here goes...even though I am ashamed to admit it, there have been times I tell

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-77342903678633145422010-06-16T09:41:00.001-05:002010-06-16T09:47:23.025-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-64632023999845245112010-06-09T14:47:00.001-05:002010-06-09T14:51:30.737-05:00

Olivia

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-65732555291138225582010-06-08T16:56:00.010-05:002010-06-08T19:25:33.413-05:00

I've been wanting to tell you about Olivia for quite a while now. I just haven't found the strength. It's still hard. I miss my little girl so very much. I miss her just like I miss Grace but it's different. Olivia lived. She moved. She looked at me. I watched her grow if only for a little while. I didn't have a chance to do that with Grace and although I miss her and love her deeply, the bond

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-60826149802900348552010-06-05T11:14:00.003-05:002010-06-05T11:57:32.641-05:00

When I walked down the aisle 6 years ago today to meet my best friend at the other end, I never in a million years could have predicted where we would be today. It was always fun to image where we would be in 5, 10, 15 years...Here we are 6 years later and still very much in love. Our marriage is a testament to how great marriage can be when a couple has been faced with some pretty hard

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-91661324630691528122010-05-25T21:01:00.003-05:002010-05-25T21:06:02.465-05:00

I have asked myself so many times how I will teach Betsy about her sisters. I know she is too young right now so I don't ponder the idea too much, but I do want to have a plan. She has a few shelves in her room that are dedicated to Grace and Olivia. One shelf contains their ashes and I almost dread the day she asks me what is in the box. I'm sure when she gets a little older I will move it

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-4151397451866930362010-05-19T14:32:00.003-05:002010-05-19T14:38:16.563-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-24047822722288635062010-05-18T10:38:00.006-05:002010-05-18T12:04:27.093-05:00

Just what has been going on for the past month...Well, another Mother's Day came and went. This was my second Mother's Day and it seems to already get a little easier. I don't mean this in a harsh way at all, but Mother's Day is a little difficult. While I rejoice and celebrate getting to be a fabulous mommy to Betsy, I so deeply miss Grace and Olivia and wish that I didn't have to be a "bereaved

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-48554661542555338592010-05-17T14:08:00.008-05:002010-05-17T14:35:58.919-05:00

I promise I haven't abandoned my blog readers! It seems like I have been so incredibly busy lately. We have had something going on every day for what seems like a month! But finally...things are kinda slowing down and I can come back to my blog. I apologize for the lag. On Saturday, May 8, 2010, we had our 2nd March of Dimes March for Babies event. This is always so much fun for Tony and I and

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-80399273365156276492010-04-21T14:31:00.003-05:002010-04-21T14:33:55.457-05:00

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-61080143520600623472010-04-18T18:34:00.004-05:002010-04-18T19:34:04.886-05:00

I always knew Grace was amazing. From the day I went into the hospital she continued to amaze. Here is her story: I couldn't tell you for sure if Grace was the baby that was always "hiding" in ultrasounds. There was always a mystery baby that like to hide behind someone. At my 12 week ultrasound we could barely see so-called mystery baby...just a tiny flicker that was the heartbeat. Oh how I

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-78340264853238298782010-04-14T10:28:00.005-05:002010-04-14T10:56:26.291-05:00

I have decided that on my Wordless Wednesday posts I will post only a name with the picture if it is not obvious that it is a picture of Betsy, like when I post pics of Grace or Olivia. For those of you who never saw them, I want to recognize whose memory I am honoring for that week. Also I am going to go back over previous Wordless Wednesday posts and add the appropriate name. Betsy:

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-47252320824831986732010-04-13T16:54:00.006-05:002010-04-13T17:21:40.846-05:00

It's amazing how a tragedy can inspire and motivate us to do something special and extraordinary.Last year our family became involved in the March of Dimes. I hope to always stay involved with this organization as a way to carry on the memory of my girls. For those of you who are not familiar with the March of Dimes, they are an organization to help improve the health of babies by preventing

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6884047932073009406.post-53605247390851202392010-04-08T16:26:00.007-05:002010-04-08T21:51:26.478-05:00

This weekend we went to my grandparent's farm for Easter. They live in a very small town in Southwest Oklahoma, about 2-1/2 hours from us and unfortunately we don't see them as often as we would like. Mostly holidays and summers. I love it there. I have so many memories as a child visiting my grandparents and spending time with my cousins. It's amazing how grown up we all are now and how

Lacihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12691071056605192635noreply@blogger.com0